her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
