he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
