R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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