I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
