U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We're too hungover to prance.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
