can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
