Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
