I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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