She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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