maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
