I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
