I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
