I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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