i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
