She's JV to your varsity
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
