It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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