somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
