don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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