I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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