Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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