did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
