i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
