we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
