He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
