I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
