He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
