That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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