I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
