ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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