watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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