There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
