we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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