I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i came on her dog
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
