I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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