Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
