I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
