it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
