I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
