I feel like I'm in dance class right now
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you will always have a special place in my vag
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
