Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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