part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
