He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
