I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
