So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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