Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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