i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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