also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
