how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
