Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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