So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
