So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
