we have officially lost it.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
