Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
