A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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