singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
