OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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